Orgasm Control

tie and tease by sarsax

Orgasm control, also known as ‘edging,’ ‘peaking,’ ‘surfing,’ and by other terms, is a sexual technique which involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time before reaching orgasm. If orgasm is not reached after the extended period of arousal, it is referred to as ‘erotic sexual denial.’

If the partner whose orgasm is being controlled, sometimes referred to as the submissive partner, is put into physical restraints, the better to control the orgasm, the activity is sometimes called ‘tie and tease,’ and if orgasm is denied it is ‘tease and denial.’ Additional possibilities include the dominant partner subjecting the submissive partner to a forced orgasm(s). Orgasm control can involve either one sex partner being in control of the other partner’s orgasm, or a person delaying their own orgasm during sexual intercourse or masturbation.

In a two-person sexual activity, one partner would stimulate the other, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger the orgasm. By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practicing with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly-aroused state near orgasm. This process may be repeated as desired, but at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. When a partner eventually provides enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm, it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation.

Since orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations occurring during the final build-up to orgasm, the physical demands of being kept or keeping oneself in this highly-excited state for an extended time can induce a pleasurable, almost euphoric state, and at times creates changes within an individual’s perceived consciousness.

Orgasm control requires a degree of skill. It requires enough familiarity with either a partner or one’s own responses to be able to vary the intensity and the timing of the stimulation accurately. If there is too little stimulation, or if it is reduced too soon, the experience is not as intense as it could have been. If there is too much stimulation, or it goes on for too long, a person may pass the point of no return and orgasm will inevitably occur.

Familiarity and daily routine are often catalogued as the two main factors that breed boredom and contempt in a long term relationship. Although these particular factors are thought to be responsible for most problems that arise in time in the couples’ sex lives, it has been brought to attention that individuals are more likely to be able to control their orgasm with a person they are emotionally connected to and familiar with rather than with an individual who does not play an important role in their lives.

Familiarity with one’s partner is thought to play an important role in helping individuals better understand their limits in what concerns sexual stimulation and its intensity. This aspect of orgasm control is mainly based on the idea that the entire practice is an acquired skill. This skill can only be developed through practice. Generally, individuals who practice the technique of orgasm control try it with the same person and discover their own limits. Knowing one’s limits in this matter is mandatory to be able to control the amount and intensity of the sexual stimulation so one can postpone the orgasm as much as possible.

Because solo masturbation allows for precise control over the feelings, the timing, and the speed of stimulation, many people practice orgasmic control by themselves. One technique is where one will masturbate up until the moment before reaching the plateau phase just before orgasm occurs, and then stop suddenly before experiencing a climax. Another technique is to slow down the stimulation while still in the plateau phase, and ‘surfing’ that for an extended time. Repeating either of these techniques many times during a single masturbation may result in a stronger, more intense orgasm.

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